Posted on June 01, 2011 by admin
A funeral service is being held for a woman who just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: “Watch out for that wall!”
Posted on May 10, 2011 by admin
Two old timers in their 90′s were chatting in the rest home..
One was healthy and the other quite ill.
The healthy one asked” I wonder if there is baseball in heaven?”
His chum replied” I’ll be there soon and I will let you know”
A few days later the old gent passed on and that night the surviving friend was awakened when he heard a voice.
“Charlie, it’s me Fred. I have good news and bad news. The good news is there is baseball in heaven. The bad news is you’re pitching on Wednesday!!”
Posted on May 09, 2011 by admin
One day two old ladies are sitting on the porch smoking cigarettes when it starts to rain.
The first old lady takes out a condom and wraps it around her cigarette for protection.
The second old lady asks what it is and where she got it. The first old lady replies:
“You can get it at any drugstore. They’re called condoms.”
So the next day the second old lady goes into the drugstore and asks the clerk: “Hello, do you sell condoms?”
The store clerk looks at her oddly and asks: “How big?”
The old lady replies: “Oh, just big enough to fit a Camel.”
Posted on May 08, 2011 by admin
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight! ”
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”
Bessie thinks a minute and says, “Close enough.”
